The art of failure

The art of failure

How to torpedo-obliterate an interview for a job with a potential new client even before meeting said person, you may ask?

There are many ways, I assure you, but I think I found the most creative so far, and it beats all my other instances. Which astonishes even me.
Let me tell you, dear captive readers.

1st, be almost late. Not late-late, you did manage to drive to the meeting place with 15 minutes to spare, but you can't find a parking spot. So you drive around the block countless times, hoping for a miracle.

2nd, since it's now 3 minutes before the meeting time, you think that you cannot possibly risk letting the person wait without calling to tell them you are literally around the corner. So you call. They don't pick up. You let them an apologetic frantic message, throwing the words parking running late almost there a few minutes sorry and so on.

3rd, you park. You enter the restaurant. Empty. You start panicking. After all, it's 4 minutes past and we are in The Netherlands. They might be gone. The kind hostess lets you know that no, no one has left or arrived for that matter, the place is still empty, maybe you should sit and have a drink, it looks like you need one. She has a point, you oblige. She also tells you that she cannot see any reservation under the name of your interviewer or yours. Strange.

4th, you sit outside, it's nice, you ask the distinguished gentleman at the other table, who seems to be waiting for someone as anxiously as you, if his name is Mrs so and so, by any chance, to which he jokingly answers he'd rather like to but sadly no. Then you replay the whole chain of events, from setting up the meeting to now. Yes, it's the right place, yes, you were late but if they had left, you would have seen them, yes, you confirmed you'd be there, today, Friday, at... oh. Oh. That's it.

5th, see yourself scrambling to open the last email you sent confirming the meeting for Friday. Today is not Friday. Feel the red-hot mist of shame cover your face. Feel the realization setting in that no matter what you do next, it's too late, the meeting might not have been missed, the meeting is tomorrow, but they know you messed up.

6th, humbly call again, they still don't pick up, so you leave another message confirming you will, in fact, be there tomorrow as agreed, and please disregard my previous message.

and 7th, you pick up your stuff, ask for the bill, and with a smile to the gentleman at the other table, you exit the scene, knowing you'll be there again tomorrow. Your car is a haven and you cannot wait to disappear into your office at home, safe from more disasters.

From now until tomorrow, every "bleepbeep" from your email inbox carries the potential cancellation of the meeting. And you could only blame yourself.
So, my question is: should I wear a clown mask tomorrow?