Where to read or not to read

Question: where do you read?

Things I've (re)learned about reading huge volumes to study - by contrast to reading equally huge volumes for pleasure:

Don't read in bed. You'll end up snoozing faster than it takes to say "I might need another cushion."
Don't read in the garden. The cute birds are way too distracting and then there are those green things swaying slowly so your mind goes to the sea breeze and that nap you took on the hammock.
Don't read on the sofa. See "don't read in bed" above. Sofas have special sleeping proprieties that should be marketed as such by the medical community.
Don't read at the kitchen table. Despite the extra cushions, the chairs are cruel.
Don't read in the kitchen, period. It's way too close to the fridge. And your husband's secret not-so-secret goodies reserve.
Don't read on the toilet. You won't be able to stand on your numb legs after that eternity sitting in the same position.
Don't read in the same room your kid is watching youtube tutorials on whatever or discussing the value of Pokemon cards while needing your urgent input.
Don't read in the car. Green is not a good color on your face. And nobody likes to clean vomit.
Don't read without your reading glasses. Or your noise-reducing headphones.
Don't read if it's 3h for diner time and your kid really needs to know what's for diner. In 3h. Or 2h. Or 1h. Or every minute in between.

Where then?
A café. A restaurant. Somewhere someone can bring your fuel of choice without too much interruption. And you can't fall asleep in public.
A train. The only moving vehicle that'll not make your stomach churn. And you can get coffee.
A library. Somewhere someone else can ask for silence on your behalf.
A room without a bed or sofa but with lock and key. And coffee.
Lots of coffee. So you don't fall asleep.
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